Reunited.

~and it feels so good.



So I talked to my former best friend for a very long time. We shared some laughs. It was fun.

Memories are indeed trickling back to me. I do miss our adventures, but I'd rather be a good person. I know influence isnt much of an excuse but it's all I can tell myself at night that helps me become better. I've stated before that I have come a long way. I dont want to throw away all my progress by becoming friends with someone who behaves the way I DO NOT want to be seen. It's very embarrassing that my own mother cannot trust us together, for me at least.

But either way, Im happy we talked today.


In other spiraling events...

My ankle hurts more, but... I was offered a brace that is nearly invisible. [: I can deal with that.
School was trifiling today. Like always.


I love how things always get under my skin, but today nothing happened. It was frustrating being treated like I was a cripple. I seriously can walk, it hurts but I dont need any help doing things. I feel very distant when people treat me like I cant do things alone. Heh, I think I can write my own warmup. My ANKLE is hurt, not my hand. Dont... treat me like a baby.

Besides that mess, I love life.

Someone said to a group as a whole that, "Life should be a struggle, then you know you're living for God."
Or something along the lines of that. [:

Imperfection

There's an issue at hand. Imperfection. Its slightly perfect, I'm telling you. I like how I am, but you don't? Should I care... not really. Do I? Completely. I'm not sure why I do, but every time... it's back to you. My life is where I want it to be, for now at least. I'm not happy with who I am, but I cant take so much change at once. You think you understand me, just because you've been around me for a simple time. Its not enough to think, for a second you can press your views on me. I seriously have NEVER been so upset of such a little matter. My heart is crying but I do not tear. My body aches but my ground is stood. I will not flee into the direction you wish I did. I will continue forth with my daily routine. As how things should be. Without your garrulous opinion. Spoken so commonly. Humph. Please, don't make me giggle.

And remember... "It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others." Joseph Addison. <3

Life.

I would like to start off with how my life has changed.


It's become more abstract over the past week or so,
much has changed but little has effect me so dearly as what
I'm ready to bring upon myself.

I'm almost sure that my new hobbies will keep me from trouble. It seems that I do need someone to keep me leveled. That's usually the position of my best friends, and boyfriend. Though at this moment, things are pretty monotonous. I don't have a boyfriend, only my few best friends. I love them dearly. I would definitely take bullets for them; I would do just about anything for them.

At this point in time I do believe that one of them may do the same for me. Whenever I'm upset I can time when she will call me, and how many times... until I answer that is.
I always have her to depend on, she nearly always pulls through.

I must apologize for running off on a tangent. I tend to do that.
Yet it is very difficult for me to stay focused when I become happy at heart and mind.
My current hobbies overwhelm me; I'm filled with joyous emotions. My heart throbs and beats as I talk with my new friends. I do enjoy them fully, even when we pretend to argue or dislike one another. It seems that my life has turned around for the better; most plenty of time I have said that, this is the only time it is spoken in truth so far. I hope it stays a healthy life. I can remember when I would "party hardy" and just be all around a wild child, yet now I realize I can have fun without doing awful things, and without arguing.

I just have to be mindful of the minutely effective arguments- picking my battle isn't easy, yet I must.

Please know that what I am about now is nothing of ill-nature. I'm merely a human being- a young woman who is not yet ready for the world- with feelings. Will you not guide me by the hand, hold me with your arms, listen to me with a kind ear, and love me with your whole heart?
In return I shall cherish you, not just now, but forever.

Requisite- My Fatal Attraction

This blog is my first on this site. Im just getting a feel of it; its quite delectable. I think Im going to stick to this site...


I like the look of the font Im using, and as I think more into that very statement, I think of my five senses. When something appeals to one of them, I try to take it in more. Such wonderful taste and smells.

Just the other day at work, I was doing what AppleBee's calls "busting" a table... the smell of the cleaning liquid appealed to my delicate nose. I leaned in closer, as to not seem noticeable, it was a new kind of smell, yet familiar. I went back to my hostess stand and sniffed the cloth again. I mean not to seem preternatural or uncouth, but my adenoids couldn't get enough of the aroma.

When my favorite song plays, I press repeat and listen ten times over. Its just that simple for me. I have a sample of it, I like it, I want it, I have it. Don't you?


To me it is the same, whether Im smelling or eating. If I love the feel of something, should not my body want more of it? My urge to have such a wonderful feel like soft, worn cotton, or my best friend, Tina's comforter. Most people, and Im generalizing when I type this, do not even talk of this subject as in depth as I am now. Indeed they pick at it, a simple "What a wonderful smell," here or a "Yummmm!" there. Yet we should all wonder at times "Don't you also feel the way I do?" Well, Im telling you, if you ask or not, I am also as human as you. I also have obsessions, cravings, and an devilish and ghoulish sweet tooth. Enough to make one quiver in my wake. I eat pounds of chocolate on top of chocolate, candy piles at a time. My dentist visit is quite ubiquitous. While they would tell the child to brush 2-3 times a day, sending him home with a lollipop and a goodie bag, Its natural that Im told to brush 4-5. My name is widely know there and at the doctors office, sniffing where my nose should not be. Making myself sick from becoming dizzy, smelling sharpies and alcohol without knowing the damage of course.

See... it seems uncanny, yet these habits are anticipated. Some cravings just span wider than others. But, isn't that well known?