Friday, May 29, 2009

Refreshed or What?

I want so SSSSSSCREAM! SHOUT SO LOUD!!! YIPPIE! I just feel so randomly happy. But at the same time Im so upset.

School is over for the week! Thats amazingly good because that means YOUTH GROUPS BBS//

When I told my classmates I coulnd twork on the project this weekend because I had Bible study they just giggled. One called me cute. And I appriciate that. really. but uhm... poor dear.


The other laughed at me. And I only replied with "we'll see who's laughing it up when God's judgement day comes..."
And she just laughed some more. Poor girls.

At lunch Chris Crampton, my ex crush, and also my close friends ex boyfriend, called me a nerd for loving Bible study. I told him it wasnt funny and he needed God. What does that rude fellow say?

"You over there 'praiiiiiise the lord!'"

Of course I have a shocked expression. "Not to pass judgement on you Chris but you're going DOWN."

"I DONT CARE" He says. He doesnt CARE?! Well he should!! Goodness. When I tell him I dont drink, smoke or fornicate, he praises me. But when I tell that I go to bible study like nobody's business.... he laughs? This poor fellow even hates his own race. How can I get through to him?


Why is it that If Im so precious, and on the right path. People are laughing!
Are people really so ignorant?


Oh dear. Anyways besides that Im estatic about BBS this weekend. [: It WILL be fufilling.

Boy do I have a Verse to share with Lizelle and the girlies [:

But that's a secret, I'll share later after saturday!

Hmm. Im afraid that I wont be able to pay for college. See, we have the money but, My mother wants to keep it for after college so that I have a secured future. Thats all bean and gravy but... How will I pay for college then If my 'rents dont pay? IM NOT PAYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I REFUSE.


Uh -Uh NO WAY JOSE!~

>:[ mehhh. Anyways..

Thank you God for bringing me this far, or rather , helping me to stay sane.

Sometimes its easy!

Today... Oh today. Was it glorious indeed.


I was able to get my classwork done in Trigonometry!

Unfortunately for me, I realized my project for my AP Language class is due the day of finals...

DUN DUN DUNN. Which I believe is June 15. For that class at least.

I need to record scenes constructed by moi. Let us hope I remember to ask people this weekend for help. I need actors. >.> HAHA That's what youth groups are for! Kidding.
I hope that I can get through all of my finals quick and stable. I don't want to fail a class because of some dumb final. I've been spending a lot of time praising and praying, and no time with my face in the books. >.<

I need to start studying. Ughh. I really don't see it necessary, but I don't want to fail.

It's funny how people think I'm not as smart as I am because of my appearance. They probably perceive that I do bare minimum in my classes, and that I take just what is required of me. What they don't know is that I take the most difficult of classes for some people, but for me... they are like putting icing on a cake. It's difficult, until the icing hits the warmth of the cake. Then you can smooth it over so easy that you friends around you will wonder with great jealousy how you did it so gracefully.

None of my concern is to as such, for it comes easy. I have no problem doing the work that is given to me, but figuring out my goals are never easy. Therefore, I only whine over my final grades. While they are almost always just decent, making scores that the upperclassmen in the class make, I wish for more. I thirst to make top marks. I do not wish to take those classes and not go far. If I am to take a class that is advanced, I wish not to be JUST on the level of a senior, who decide to do their bare minimum. I wish to go far and beyond, to make scores that will cause my descendants cheer in their grave. I hunger for approving smiles and jealous glares of my teachers and peers.

Nothing feeds me more than proving someone wrong, except my love for goodwill and the Lord, of course. And I speak that with wide curves, but they are tight from any persons perspective. Because of course, I don't wish to prove those who have faith in me wrong. I want to do them justice. Do myself Justice.



By now you are wondering, why does she not behave this way all the time?

It's simple. I'm a funloving person, I like to be everywhere at once and nowhere at all. I like to run, jump, shout, and scream. I like to annoy and pester, help and advise. I'm just decent. Only human, and not a perfectionist. I fear the monotonous vibes that I sometimes feel.

I merely would enjoy my grades and expectations at best.