Sometimes its easy!

Today... Oh today. Was it glorious indeed.


I was able to get my classwork done in Trigonometry!

Unfortunately for me, I realized my project for my AP Language class is due the day of finals...

DUN DUN DUNN. Which I believe is June 15. For that class at least.

I need to record scenes constructed by moi. Let us hope I remember to ask people this weekend for help. I need actors. >.> HAHA That's what youth groups are for! Kidding.
I hope that I can get through all of my finals quick and stable. I don't want to fail a class because of some dumb final. I've been spending a lot of time praising and praying, and no time with my face in the books. >.<

I need to start studying. Ughh. I really don't see it necessary, but I don't want to fail.

It's funny how people think I'm not as smart as I am because of my appearance. They probably perceive that I do bare minimum in my classes, and that I take just what is required of me. What they don't know is that I take the most difficult of classes for some people, but for me... they are like putting icing on a cake. It's difficult, until the icing hits the warmth of the cake. Then you can smooth it over so easy that you friends around you will wonder with great jealousy how you did it so gracefully.

None of my concern is to as such, for it comes easy. I have no problem doing the work that is given to me, but figuring out my goals are never easy. Therefore, I only whine over my final grades. While they are almost always just decent, making scores that the upperclassmen in the class make, I wish for more. I thirst to make top marks. I do not wish to take those classes and not go far. If I am to take a class that is advanced, I wish not to be JUST on the level of a senior, who decide to do their bare minimum. I wish to go far and beyond, to make scores that will cause my descendants cheer in their grave. I hunger for approving smiles and jealous glares of my teachers and peers.

Nothing feeds me more than proving someone wrong, except my love for goodwill and the Lord, of course. And I speak that with wide curves, but they are tight from any persons perspective. Because of course, I don't wish to prove those who have faith in me wrong. I want to do them justice. Do myself Justice.



By now you are wondering, why does she not behave this way all the time?

It's simple. I'm a funloving person, I like to be everywhere at once and nowhere at all. I like to run, jump, shout, and scream. I like to annoy and pester, help and advise. I'm just decent. Only human, and not a perfectionist. I fear the monotonous vibes that I sometimes feel.

I merely would enjoy my grades and expectations at best.

Quick thought.!!

I feel like I'm a little baby walking through the snow. My father in front of me and each footprint is a big jump for me to follow in his footsteps. His shoes are indeed TOO big to fill. Yet I just barely make the jumps. With room to grow into his shoe size. I follow willingly and devoted to him. I will never purposefully bite the hand that nourishes me and committed the most loving act just for me. When I do, my heart pains and I feel as though I have failed him. But knowing I am forgiven. That is wonderful in itself.

So...

I had fun today. It went by super fast. Considering I didnt go yesterday!


I couldnt find my book, but now I have found it. I need to read it though, maybe I will after this post. My hair is sooo oily. Should I wash it. Errrhm. Yeah. Will I? Maybe tomorrow morning, I dont have time. Showering soon! Maybe in a few.


I feel like I forgot to write about ME. [: //


I will though soon. Oii.

The ME I need to write about is for a class assignment that I happen to be absent for yesterday. But I had a note so my teacher is allowing me to do it. !! YATTA~

Anyways, Im so hyper from this sweet tea. thats okay though. It's oiishiiiiiiii~!


Well. Ja Ne!

Quick update!!

UWAH!!~

My mother was away for training! She went to Mississippi!

Now she is on her way home! SHE'S IN MARYLAND!


私はうれしいとゆかたです。　　＜０－０＞　Mahaha!

私はねむいです、でも。。。

Oh!　ちょっとまってください。



～ぢんぐーどんぐ～




Uwahhh! She just came home in the middle of my blog! She brought me A 300 DOLLAR NECKLACE FROM BAILEY BANKS AND BIDDLE!


And a really cute shirt.


WAAAAAA! I love my mommy!

Thank the LORD for giving me a great mommy.

God & I

Well. Can I just start by saying, GOODNESS. God Loves me!

He sent his only.... ONLY son, who died for my sins, so that I may be forgiven.

How gracious is that? Im not even worthy of it! Im so grateful for him being our savior.

My prayers always seem to come true, and I know God is listening. He never fails me.

Possibly because I am his child. I know being raised into the catholic religion may have altered my path to begin with and sooooo I did indeed lose my way. I can admit, I was one of the bad "seeds" that you always hear about on the news. God found me and brought me to the wonderful group of people I spend my every day communicating with. I said before that I have come a very long way, in a previous blog. But now I know that... before when I called for God to help me. That's the help I recieved. He helped me fix my life up, and CONTINUE to fix it. My anger is one of the only things I believe could use some work. I can at least try harder. It hurts me to know I sin and Im so undeserving of God's graces.


It pains me more that other people who dont even know what's coming for them when judgement day comes. I dont want that to happen to all my friends, hopefully they hear me when i try to call to their selves.


Hopefully I will see my dearest ones on the other side. And if not, they would be getting their just.


Ehhhmm. Lord Thank You, Thank You, Thank You. I can only imagine how much you love me and care. I wish to be more like you. I love you, and Im so grateful for the everydays you allow me to live healthy, even in sickness. I know that I am how I deserve. Im glad just still being able to breath. Though that when it is my time to die. I wish to go knowing that you will not tell me... "I do not know you" I can only imagine how much that would hurt. I was told about it, but I still, can only imagine. You that I have claimed to love and share bonds with. You rejecting me and my love. Im right with you. I want to stay right with you. I want to have you in everything that I do, say, eat. Everywhere I go. I want to live faithful to you. Having you in my life.

Thank You.

Confused.

Lately life is getting much harder for me. I feel that it's at a stand still of some sort. I feel so worn out. School is becoming too much for me as days go on. The days seem so much longer. I dont like the way it feels. I think about to tomorrow and I try to imagine what I will be doing but I cannot. I can only figure out general things. I think this break is just what I need. Sometimes I want to take myself out of society but that is a very permanent solution for a temporary issue. Im not crazy just, so lonely. Even though I spend ample time with everyone, I feel like Im not with the people I want to be with. Even though I am. I dont know what I should think anymore. Life seems like it's going to get so much harder when I take on more responsibility. I feel like I want to get things done but they just arent happening! I cant even get insurance for my car. What kind of crap is that?!! Where is God when I need him... right beside me. And I keep telling myself that, and every time I get more confused. I want to lay back and let him guide me, but at the same time I want to have everything planned out. I want security. I cant find it in planning because I cant seem to figure things out. I want to talk to my mom about life. But I cant connect to her. I want to talk to someone who's more... serious but still in my age range. I dont see how this is going to work out. I want to just sit for a day and plan out everything. Right now all I can think about is my summer. If I look any further into my future... my heart starts to rip, and my eyes fill themselves with tears. I dont want to end up in a ditch or in jail or sued. I want to live healthy, I dont need to be rich just.... comfortable. A fair sized living space. Whatever god gives me is fine. I just want to be set. The work it takes to get there is no problem I will do it. I just need to know what I need to do.

Easter

Its crazy how time is flying. It feels like not long ago that I made this blog.


At the same time... I feel as though Spring Break is taking to long. I feel out of touch with friends. Im very excited to get to school. I wonder what changes I will see in everyone, I know 14 days wasnt very long but if my hair color has changed... wouldn't other people be making changes as well. Thats what happens when we teenagers have too much time on our hands. [:


I met a boy. He's so cute. Haha. But I still like someone else, alot. Its awkward for me to carry on single but taken. I feel like my feelings shouldn't stray from that one person but its apparent that i will like other people. Its a given.


Though, I will try to stay focused; that sounded like he's a job or mission.


I went shopping today. NEW EASTER DRESS and a cute little Jacket. I was thinking of wearing the necklace I have with it, but I may try some others that I have, and put a cute touch to it. I also had to deal with a friends mess. ughhh. Im trying not to be in it but she is dragging me in. Now that I think about it... I was supposed to call her back but I sort of forgot. TeeHee. Calling now. Bye.

Oh yeah, I love bunnies [: